The Journey Ends...

Funny how I sit down to write these with an idea of where I am heading, but the photo takes me down a different path. Sometimes I believe that I don't really write these pieces, but a wiser soul is speaking through my fingers. My need to write, a desire so strong, I cannot fight, is like a current that just carries me along. I ride it and it takes me to new places.

On Sunday we celebrated the 4th of July with the usual fanfare. Good friends, too much wine, yummy food and breathtaking fireworks over the lake. This year while celebrating all that is great about America, our home sweet home, we also said goodbye to the Unwanted. Cheryl and I spent the school year sharing custody of a necklace that no one wanted. We wore it, we photographed it, we wrote about it. Slowly it began to wear us, take us places and force us to face some unwanted things about our personal lives.

The Unwanted symbolized a lot of unwanted things in our lives at work. While we spoke through the necklace about all that was wrong and unbalanced there, the necklace began to speak to us about how to make it through. It showed us how to look at things differently, turn things around and make peace with what we were given. This unwanted, ugly necklace brought new understanding to our lives. It showed us how beautiful we can be if we separate ourselves from the negativity.

As we lowered the Unwanted into the fire pit, we watched the flames engulf it. It burned proudly all evening, holding on till the very end. As we end our journey with the necklace, we remember that as long as we stay grounded, we will always be able to reach high, and attain our goals. As long as they are goals that truly mean something to us. ~Susan

Getting ready for the Unwanted to come to a Close: Destination 18

June 4, 2010: Destination 18 of the Unwanted Necklace

So much has happened since Cheryl and I began the Journey of the Unwanted Necklace on Thursday, October 15, 2009. What began as a collaborative writing project to keep us sane this school year, turned into an emotional roller coaster ride for both of us. The necklace was there, either on us or by our side, as we learned so much about each other, and more importantly, ourselves.

The necklace forced us to look beyond what others see. It made us look past what neither of us wanted to accept or deal with. It made us search inside ourselves and each other. Sometimes it showed us things we did not want to see. It caused confrontations and tears. It uncovered secrets and it told lies. The unwanted necklace represented the very lives we lived. It appeared one way but desired to be seen in a different way. It wanted love and acceptance. It wanted to be happy and whole.

As the 2009-10 school year winds down, the journey must also end. While it seems sad to both of us, we know that it is time. The smell of summer's humidity is right outside the door, reminding us that change is just a calendar page away. Cheryl will end a long stretch at the 3rd grade level as I end a 14 year residency in the only classroom I have ever known as a Red Creek teacher.

While both of us have new things to look forward to in September, we won't forget the lessons learned this year. We will hold onto the positive outlook we climbed uphill to find. We will embrace the happy changes that we both brought into our lives. Most of all, I know that we will hold onto the dear friendship that we have cultivated these last 9 months, as we close the door together on this wild journey we have traveled. ~Sue

Destination 17 - The Southernmost Point

Travel, to me, is one of the ways to refresh and rejuvenate in my life. A while back, the necklace crossed the border with me into Canada. This past week, it journeyed south, to Key West, Florida, to the Southernmost point in the USA in fact. We've been north, we've been south. Did I mention, ever, at any point, that it has been quite the year? Well, I can safely say that it was there, in Key West, that finally, and for certain, I put the ugly of this year fully behind me, and decided to focus beyond. Blue skies, and warmth, and freedom are ahead. Freedom from structure, and stupidity, freedom from schedules and insanity. The sun will come out again, even in upstate NY, soon, and the vibe of Key West, and promise of summer, will get me through to the end of this ugly year.

Destination 16 - Going Wireless

Sometimes in order to cope with life...we need a little freedom. We need a chance to be ourselves, to breathe, to have some privacy. A little escape from the responsibility of being part of our daily network can restore the soul.

When that plugged in feeling becomes unwanted, it is time to go wireless. It gives us the opportunity to still function within our daily roles, while having a happy little escape not so far from reality. From this distance, the ugly can appear a little less so. It makes it a little more manageable...and takes the focus off the heavy weight of it around our necks. Unplugging from the unhappiness sometimes can make us feel like a new person. It makes the dull appear to shine. It takes the stress off of the broken beads which are being held together with glue. It puts everything in a new perspective.

With the ability to live life without wires, a whole new world opens up. A world where we can express what we want, when we want, where we want. A world of no waiting...a chance to live life in the here and now.

And the truth shall set you free...the 15th destination

Sometimes bare naked honesty is necessary. There are times when we need to come clean and let the unwanted be seen. Once the ugliness is out in the open, with no lies hiding the truth, a new beauty can emerge. Understanding can take hold and feelings can adapt to viewing situations in a new light. Relationships can be made stronger and deeper.

Nothing is ever as it seems, this we learn time and time again. People are never fully who they say they are, or even who they themselves think they are. We show the best of ourselves to those we want to impress. We hide ugly truths from those we want to protect. Over time we actually get quite good at hiding behind several truths and it becomes the norm. It becomes all we know. The lies become truth in themselves.

When those we love and connect with the most struggle to understand the choices that we make, sometimes the only answer is to trust them with the whole truth. To remove all the distractions, to strip down the exterior and to bare the soul.

Honesty is really not always the best policy. Throughout life we find that different people are completely unable to handle certain truths and really don't want to be faced with it. Over time we learn who can handle what and we use those terms to guide our relationships. But when one of those relationships hits a roadblock, a detour must be taken. Sometimes in order to continue the journey, the dark alley of honesty must be ventured down. You have no idea if you are going to emerge safely out of the alley or not, but if and when you do, you feel there is nothing that you can't face together!

Destination 14 - The Light

With spring, comes light. With light comes life. The ugly necklace has been through a lot these last couple of months, but with spring, we can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, and feel the warmth returning to our lives. The newness of spring is awakening, and with it comes hope, for the future, for an end to the ugly, and an eventual rebirth. Beyond the tired and dead, a renewed life awaits. The light will come sooner for some things, later for others, but it will come, someday, in its own time. Until then, we wait, with anticipation, hope and, perhaps most of all, with trust.

Destination 13 - Pleasure Island

It has always been within me to make my own happiness. This life is so amazing, if only you allow yourself to seek out the beauty and appreciate it. Those things change from day to day, and certainly year to year...and are very personal. What one person sees as beautiful may be unwanted and ugly to someone else. I call this part of myself, Pleasure Island.

I can spend days at a time on the island, or if time is limited, a few minutes. Sometimes I am alone on the island, while other times I have company. With the mainland far from my mind, I can get lost in happy thoughts. With my life being busy and stressful, these are the only kind of getaways possible. But instead of seeing the wine glass as half empty, I choose to see it as half full. There will come a day in my life again where I am free to explore places I've never been. Until then, I visit Pleasure Island to maintain my sanity.

Sometimes a song will take me to the tropics, while other times a smell or a taste of something heavenly is all I need. Escapes can be innocent shopping trips or dinner with friends, with the mainland still within view. Once in a while though, I may need to drift further out to sea, far away from the wake of others' opinions.

Time spent daydreaming is never time wasted...as these little trips can renew the soul. As the tides change, so do my needs. As the weather changes, so do my moods. But as life changes, never does my sense of self or who I am. ~Sue