Broken Pieces Resurface in a Storm

Destination 9.5 of the Unwanted Necklace

Just as I feel confident in navigating my life with the unwanted necklace, a storm works its way up the coast unexpectedly. After months of adjusting to the missing bead, the lack luster metal and the overall ugliness of it, what has been missing all along cames to find me. The tidal wave of emotion washes over me and almost takes me under a third time. It is time to face what has been broken and missing in life. It is time to fight for my life, my sanity, my soul. I swim to the surface, where I know oxygen awaits me.

Once on shore again, shaking and in disbelief over what just happened, I realize that I am going to make it. What has been broken and missing has made me stronger each time the storm comes and this time is no different. I will be able to take the experience of this tsunami and be ready for the next time the missing bead resurfaces. For now, it will return to its box in the event that the time comes for an attempted repair and reattachment. But for now, we shall go on living with the necklace as it is...imperfect.

Chapter 9: Upside Down

Journey of the Unwanted Necklace Chapter 9 December 22, 2009

So this necklace entered our lives just 3 months ago as an unwanted castoff. Just as Cheryl and I were going through some unsettling events, we decided to take the focus off of all that and have some fun with this piece of dull, beaded metal. It was off to a telling start, as one of the beads broke and fell off during the first hour. We didn't give it much hope just as we didn't have much hope for the 2009-10 school year.

Sometimes however, we need to look at things from a different point of view. Like turning something upside down. When we do that, we may see something that we never noticed before. We may actually be open to thinking about a situation a little differently.

I like to consider myself an optimist. I am all for seeing the glass as half full and finding the silver lining. I like to live each day as if it were my last and try not to let the little things get me down. At times this is difficult to do, especially when life gives you dull metal and broken beads to wear. But I felt that I could do it. I could wear this necklace proudly and let it see the beauty in life through my eyes. Little did I know, it would actually be turning me inside out. Through the journeys it has taken me on, I have been able to look at my life a little differently.

No matter how trying a situation may be...there are always good things. We just can't let the pressure or the disappointment of a situation take over our soul. If we stay true to ourselves, we can change the way we look at life...we can let the dull appear shiny and the missing not be dwelled upon. There are so many beautiful things to fill in that missing gap!

Destination 8: The Unwanted Feels Wanted
December 16, 2009

Sometimes when life leaves us feeling unappreciated, unattractive and like we have nothing to look forward to...the border is a tempting place to go. Sometimes, a trip over the border is enough to recharge our batteries and help us to look at ourselves a little differently. Feeling beautiful can be a powerful feeling. When someone is able to look at themselves from a different point of view, or through someone elses eyes, it is like a vacation far away from reality. Suddenly our flaws aren't as visible, and we can almost forget about the missing olive for a few moments. The tough decision to make, however...is how far over the border to go and how long to stay. It feels so good to be away for a while, but it is just a fairy tale. Our old life with its problems and stress is just waiting on the other side, missing olive and all.

"Ugly Crosses the Border"

Part 7

Sometimes we just need to get away. The ugly in life drags us down. We become fed up and at times, overwhelmed, with the regular and the everyday and we need to spice things up a bit. This CAN be accomplished in small ways, sleeping in, opening a nice bottle of wine with dinner, some good shopping, but sometimes everything just gets too menial, too ordinary, too painful and we have to cross the border. That is just what we did, "UN" in tow, last week, as we headed to Canada for a cousin's wedding. As we drove there, I realized how long it had been since we had "gotten away" on a real "adventure." We crossed the border, for the first time with our passports. We stopped at Canadian wineries, Wayne Gretzky's included. We had a wonderful time in Oakville, Ontario for the wedding, and also spent a little time in Toronto, a big city, so different and so energizing compared to our everyday life. But then, it wound down, and it was time to cross the border again...back to life, back to reality...we headed back knowing we were facing a family funeral in the coming days as Tim's grandmother had just passed away at the age of 85. Cognizant of that fact, we also made time to stop and see family, and my grandfather, in Buffalo, on our way home. Yep, real life hit us fast, pretty much the MINUTE we crossed back, but was it really ever far from our minds? We had slipped away, we had lived for a few days, a different life, but reality was always there. Crossing the border is good, but it does seem, that generally, we all do find our way back home.

Journey of the Unwanted Necklace Part 6: November 18, 2009

People are not always who they appear to be on the outside. We go through life meeting people and basing our opinions of them on several factors. It might be a first impression, a friend we have in common, or several years of history together. But do we ever really know the real person on the inside? Do we ever really know ourselves for that matter?

Often we define ourselves and the people around us in pretty simple terms. Terms that support and compliment each other. Terms that are easy to understand and convey to each other when we are describing personalities. We go through life categorizing each other, rarely stopping to consider that there may be more going on behind that unwanted, ugly necklace than the missing bead. Sometimes there is a naughty ballerina just waiting to dance naked in the moonlight. Should that opportunity present itself , does she leave behind that dull, broken garland we once knew her as? Do we change our opinion and the terms we set of the person as a complex whole?

I think so often that we hide behind the necklace that people see us as everyday because it is easy and comfortable. What we really need is a little spice in our life until the olive can be found. Get out the tutu and dance like we've never danced before. If not for everyone, then at least just for ourselves.

Saturday, November 14, 2009
5th Outing of the Unwanted Necklace: Girls night out.

Sometimes all it takes to distract us from unwanted things in our life is a good cup of coffee and a seasonal donut. While some donuts have the ability to take us to more exciting places than others, any donut is better than none at all. In the past we have experienced things like a "vacation on a donut" through chocolate and coconut varieties. Tonight's availability was the pumpkin spice, which was pretty good for being after 9pm. A little girl talk after a movie and all of our troubles seemed to disappear. Now if only we could find a way to get the calories to disappear...

Wednesday November 11, 2009
"The Unwanted Necklace Destination 4"
We had a Ducks Unlimited dinner to attend tonight, which my husband had to MC. I was less than interested in attending, but got more interested when I realized a potential outing for the UN. Much to my pleasure, I remembered a dress from the deep recesses of my closet that complimented the necklace beautifully! The dinner was enjoyable and delicious as well. In the end I realized that sometimes you CAN dress up the ugly and take it out. Here we were at a dinner centered around hunting wildfowl, but it was civilized, fun, even heading towards classy. And here we had a hideous necklace that once again, proved to be more than the sum of its broken parts, giving the ugly a chance to shine!

November 7, 2009
Third destination on the Journey of the Unwanted Necklace.

Sometimes when life is unbalanced and ugly, we may choose to do things that seem irrational to other people. These choices that we make provide a distraction from what is missing in the equation of our lives and help us to feel happy. Whether it be a frivolous overnight just half an hour away, laughing with a friend over a lost car in the parking lot, or releasing our feelings through writing . We need these things in our lives to resuscitate what the ugly has knocked unconscious. Let no one stand in our way while we continue our quest for the olive.

Day 2 of The Unwanted Necklace...
Just an observation, I suppose..."Sometimes, focusing on the new puts the old back in its box."

I had a jewelry party, and got all this "new stuff" just as I was supposed to be wearing/observing life through the Unwanted Necklace. It sat in its box, on my jewelry armoire (yep, a piece of furniture JUST for my jewelry habit, and, quite frankly, it is full) and I focused on the new stuff instead. Sue and I often refer to how we are going to "get through the week," and I purport to say that this year there is still "no olive in sight" and we are going to need to have ways to "get through the year." New jewelry, recently, has been it. What next? Holiday shopping and merriment I suppose...oh, and there is always the wine!
-Cheryl

On day 1 of the ugly necklace wearing, I break a bead before even leaving the house. 2 fire drills and 2 classes into the day, I notice the bead is broken and half missing. So symbolic of the start of this school year. An ugly first impression, when upon trying to go with it anyway, it breaks down and proves to be unbalanced and flawed . I laugh to myself and continue with my unbalanced day. I look all around my classroom for the missing bead piece and never find it. I decide that it probably represents that the school year will remain broken and unbalanced in addition to ugly. Several hours later, at home, my daughter brings me the bead piece and asks if it is mine. She saw it under the coffee table and thought that it was an olive. I guess I will fix it and maybe hold onto hope that someone will find the olive at school, too.
~Sue